[The lights start to dim, and a spotlight goes crazy throughout the crowd. The titon-tron starts to go black, and there is a huge explosion of red, and gray pyro on the stage. Music, slowly starts to play.]

(The ref starting to get back up in the ring as Funky and Inferno place BW on the table, Both Funky and Inferno now climb up to the turnbuckles right to the top and point at BW, then all of a sudden Laura goes flying into one of the steel steps and Rachael is picked up over Lone Wolf's head.. Funky looks on shocked as does Inferno.. as BW rolls out of the way and Lone Wolf Scoop Slams Rachael THROUGH THE TABLE!)

(Funky sets him up for the Super Tiger Bomb and lifts him up spinning him towards the table and dropping him as Funky goes down with him THROUGH THE TABLE!.. Using his own momentum to force Lone Wolf down as he slowly rolls off him and the ref walks over and raises his arm...)

[Kakuma looking really pissed off now walks over to Dark and slams his face into the guard rail before dragging him back towards the ring by the time the ref gets to 4. Kakuma slides back in as Dark is on his hands and knee's and crawls into one of the corners Kakuma walks slowly towards him as Dark pleads for him to let him go and Kakuma just shakes his head when all of a sudden Dark nails a Low blow on Kakuma and pulls himself up onto the 2nd rope and hits Kakuma in the head with a Axe Handle Smash. Kakuma staggers back a bit as Dark charges in for a Spear but the small guy really has little Effect on Kakuma who just falls to the ground.]

Zorana Blair: Your winner.. and NEW Tri Cities Champion.. KAKUMA!

(Breadman climbs to his feet and picks up a steel chair, and Breadman swings the chair and hits BW in the back. repeatedly. Funky hits Breadman in the back with a trash can lid, Knocking Breadman to the floor.)

[Mathers gets to his feet, but Cannon keeps the offensive by Irish whipping him across the ring. Mathers comes off the ropes and levels Cannon with a spinning heel kick. He springs to his feet as the crowd gives a small pop. Cannon quickly gets to his feet and throws a hard right hand which Mathers catches. He pulls Cannon onto his shoulders and then takes him down again with a Samoan drop. The crowd pops once more]

[Cannon takes a swing at Mathers, but Mathers blocks it. He pulls back for a punch of his own, but Cannon slips a thumb in his eye just before he can land the blow. Cannon then backs Mathers into the corner with a series of knife edge chops. Cannon backs off and then rushes in with a clothesline which sends Mathers staggering out of the corner. Cannon bounces off the ropes and catches Mathers from behind with a bulldog. the crowd gives a small pop]

[Cannon pushes Mathers’ leg to the side. This causes him to spin 180 degrees, Cannon then latches onto his back setting him up for a Russian Leg Sweep. After planting him Cannon quickly scales the ropes. HE perches on the top one for a split second, slashing his throat with his thumb before nailing a frog splash. “Clean Cut!” The crowd begins to boo as Cannon makes the cover]

[Easton goes for a Texas Cloverleaf, but Rowell kicks his legs loose and slides outside to grab a breather and develop a new ring strategy. After a few minutes, Rowell slides back in and sets his eyes toward Easton. Rowell and Easton lockup, and Rowell takes the advantage. Rowell throws Easton to the ropes and drops Easton to the mat with a hard clothesline. Rowell, instead of going for a pin, is dropping elbows and stomps on Easton's legs. And now, after a few minutes of really working the right leg, Rowell goes for the Texas Cloverleaf. He locks it in, and has it completely on Easton and it's very tight. Easton begins to feel the pain, and you know so cause you can see the pain in his face.]

[Wally grabs Deke and tosses him into the ring. Renfield climbs up the turnbuckle post again and jumps off trying for a five-star frog splash, but Deke gets his legs up right in time causing them to collide with Wally’s ribs. Deke quickly slides to the outside and notices two pitchers of water… One half empty the other full. He grabs them and goes back into the ring where Renfield is no longer in. Deke sets both pitchers down and turns to look on the outside.]

[He taps Deke Rivers on the shoulder who turns around and gets a pitcher to the forehead and it shatters all over the place. Wally slams the other one across his forehead again and there is blood!]

Jimmy Peckman: Welcome to Sadistic Dreams DAY TWO!!

Larry Dots: We have an action packed night for you all tonight!

Jimmy Peckman: THREE! COUNT THEM THREE WWA WORLD TITLES ON THE LINE!!!

Larry Dots: Are you going to wet yourself?

Jimmy Peckman: Yeah if FDF walks out with the WWA tag titles, if Kakuma can snatch the WWA Cruiserweight title, and if Dan Easton can win the WWA National title, then yeah I will wet myself!

Larry Dots: Of course you would… Sick freak.

Jimmy Peckman: I also forgot to mention that Wally Renfield is probably going to be looking for retribution and his belt tonight.

Larry Dots: Wouldn’t you be looking for Deke Rivers if he bloodied you, and took off with your heavyweight championship title?

Jimmy Peckman: Probably… but look whose in the ring!

Larry Dots: Well if it isn’t our boss, Tai Haven!

Jimmy Peckman: That is CJ Rowell with HIM!

Larry Dots: Well we all know who is going to win the match tonight…

Jimmy Peckman: Hush up…

[Cut to the ring.]

Tai Haven: Well… I brought CJ Rowell out here for a reason…

[Small pop.]

Tai Haven: It wasn’t to give him anything really… Nothing too much at all.

[CJ looks at Haven with a confused look.]

Tai Haven: Don’t give me that look… YOU’RE FIRED! With that tonight… The main event will be a one on one match for the SWF Heavyweight title!

[CJ Rowell just looks at Haven confused.]

Tai Haven: You haven’t lived up to your promise about bringing in a bigger crowd, and doing what you said you would do. SO GET OUT MY ARENA!

[Crowd boos.]

[Rowell begins to turn around and Haven beings to smile, but then CJ turns around and punches Tai Haven right in the jaw who falls to the ground. Rowell spits on Haven and leaves the ring. When Rowell is out of site Tai gets to his feet and has blood dripping down onto his Armani suit.]

Jimmy Peckman: GO ROWELL!

Larry Dots: Damn… I hope Haven is okay… That was a pretty hard punch.

Jimmy Peckman: He deserved it… He brought CJ out here and tried to embarrass him, well looks like Tai is the one that is all red.

Larry Dots: Lets move to our first match…

[Darkest Dark and Lonewolf are both in the ring. Lonewolf goes right at Darkest Dark. Lonewolf begins going at Darkest Dark with elbow shots that stagger Darkest Dark back into the ropes. Lonewolf whips Darkest Dark into the far ropes. Darkest Dark comes back only to be met a super kick. Darkest Dark drops down hard. His head smacks into the mat. Lonewolf walks around to Darkest Dark's head and begins to pick him up by the hair. Darkest Dark gets to his feet and Lonewolf knees him in the stomach. Darkest Dark hunches over and Lonewolf whips him into the ropes again. Darkest Dark comes back and hits a sort of cross body… type… thing….a-ma-jig. Lonewolf goes down but is right back up. Lonewolf hits Darkest Dark with a kick to the stomach, followed up by a power slam. Lonewolf drops an elbow on Darkest Dark. Lonewolf gets quickly back up only to drop down again with a leg drop. Lonewolf goes for a pin. 1….2… but Darkest Dark kicks out. Lonewolf picks Darkest Dark up and sets him up for a power bomb. Lonewolf has Darkest Dark up on his shoulders and slams him down hard. Darkest Dark's head hits hard once again. Lonewolf goes for the pin on Darkest Dark. 1….2…..3.]

Match time: Fifteen minutes, and thirty three seconds.

(Attention is now centered on the entryway as the arena goes dark.)

Zorana Blair: Weighing in at two hundred and fifty five pounds, hailing from Syracuse, New York, he is the former WWA Double Crown champion and is the number one contender to the Sadistic Wrestling Federation Heavyweight championship…. Without any further ado HERE IS “THE BLACK LAMB” DEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEE RRRRRIIIIIVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRSSSSS!!!!!!!!

The lights drop low, and flashing green lights circle through the arena, slowly exposing the poor faces of the SWF fans.

Lately I've been wandering Off the narrow path You have given me so many things that I've never had And all in all I know it's you that always pulls me through If you reach deep inside you'll see my heart is true

The lights come in a second, and the green lights fall off into a black hole somewhere. The face of Deke Rivers is shown as he stands on the top of the ramp way with the SWF Heavyweight title on his shoulder and soaks in the boos from the crowd.

Cause I hate the way I feel tonight And I know I need you in my life Yes I hate the way I feel inside And I promise to make the sacrifice

Deke Rivers slowly walks down the ramp way while his eyes are fixed the ring, and never lets that fix go.

[Renfield comes out from the back and nails Deke Rivers in the back of the head with a chair. He drops the chair and grabs the SWF Heavyweight title from Deke Rivers and holds it up in the air. Deke gets up and spears Wally in the back and they being to fist fight.]

[They both rip and tear at each other stitches, and both men are bleeding already and the referee cannot break this up. Suddenly Tai Haven appears on the ramp as both men are still fighting. He has a train of policemen behind him… They continue to brawl either way.]

Tai Haven: This match is a no contest… You both will be penalized as well… This day wasn’t supposed to be about this. So now, Wally in two weeks, you will defend the SWF Heavyweight title against somebody of my choosing! Which will be announced at the next Warpath!

Tai Haven: As for Deke… You will fight somebody of my choosing as well… It may be two weeks it may be three… But it will be for the number one contendership to the SWF Heavyweight championship. You will also be placed in the one night only tournament on the next Warpath… Now officers please escort them out of my friggin arena!

Jimmy Peckman: Wow…

Larry Dots: … Indeed…

Jimmy Peckman: Lets just move to the back where this video is coming from.

[Scene fades in and we find ourselves in a dark room possibly somewhere in the arena. A single dim light fires up and we barely make out the face of Dan Easton.]

Dan: "Sometimes a person needs to step into the darkness to prepare for the darkness that is coming."

[Dan pauses briefly, then continues to speak.]

Dan: "Now sure some would think I have lost myself, and have gone to that so called dark side that so many wrestlers like to make you believe they have found, but that is not what I was implying at all. No, not at all."

[Dan pauses once more.]

Dan: "What I was getting at is simple. Sometimes to prepare for the darkest point in your life you must first step into that darkness. Now sure, I am wrestling for the WfWA National title tonight, and some would not think that would be such a dark point in my life or career, and everyone that thinks this way would be totally correct. For you see winning the title will not be the dark point..."

[Dan turns out the light, and we are in total darkness once more. Dan speaks once more.]

Dan: "What I do to Jonathan Cross this evening to win the National title on the other hand..."

[Scene switches back to ring side.]

Jimmy Peckman: Alright, folks, get set for a real action-packed bout! Coming right up, the World Wrestling Alliance Tag Team Titles are up for grabs!

Larry Dots: Can those dancing disco fools get the job done tonight? There's a whole locker room full of guys back there hoping they can!

[Cut to the ring.]

Zorana Blair: Introducing the challengers accompanied by Rachael Fox, Laura Fabrico and Glenn "Windyman" Davis, at a combined weight of 465 pounds, Funky and the Inferno Kid, Firery Disco Fever

(The house lights dim to near darkness, and the crowd leaps to their feet as they come up blue and red and yellow and the Words Firery Disco Fever appears on the titantron and a guitar solo plays aloud.)

Wasted Youth!!

(As the guitar breaks louder, Blue and red strobes go off on stage, as a bit of red  fog collects over the entry way, as blue and red lights and lazers flash all over the stage. Four silhouettes walk out onto the stage.)

Wasted Youth!!!

(With an explosion of red, Yellow, and blue pyrotechnics on the stage, the house lights come back up, and we now see FDF -- Funky, Inferno Kid, Rachael Fox and Laura Fabrico -- standing on the stage. Funky points to the crowd trying to hype them up, while Wendy waves. Dan, who's holding a large metal tube behind him, stands quietly.)

I know that I will never be politically correct

And I don't give a damn about my lack of etiquette

As far as I'm concerned, the world could still be flat

And if the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back

If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back

(As Funky and Inferno start down to the ring, Glenn raises a metal pole, pointing upward into the crowed, which roars as they see it's a hydraulic gun. Glenn presses the trigger, and a balled up t-shirt goes flying through the air, into the stands, creating an imprompt mosh pit where people leap up to grab the souvenir.)

Who am I? Why am I here?

Forget the questions, someone gimme another beer

What's the meaning of life, what's the meaning of it all?

You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl

You gotta learn to dance before you learn to crawl

(Funky and Inferno continue to ringside, high fiving fans on both sides of the aisle along the way. Glenn continues to fire a few more shirts into the crowd, The crowd laughing as one of the balls unfolds itself, and the T-shirt flutters down into the waiting arms of a lucky fan.)

So sign up all you raw recruits, throw away those designer suits

You got your weapons cocked, your targets in your sights

There's a party raging somewhere in the world

You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl

You're all enlisted in the armies of the night

And I ain't in it for the power, and I ain't in it for the health

I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all

And I sure ain't in it for the wealth

But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop

If you wanna get it done, you gotta do it yourself

And I like my music like I like my life

(FDF jump onto the top rope where they perform backflips into the ring, and head for opposite turnbuckles, as Glenn fires his last shirt, before setting the hydraulic gun down, and walking to ringside, with Rachael and Laura. Behind them, a stagehand grabs the hydraulic gun, and takes it backstage.)

Everything louder than everything else, everything louder than everything else

Everything louder than everything else, everything louder than everything else

Everything louder than everything else, everything louder than everything else

Wasted youth! Wasted youth! Wasted youth! Wasted youth!

(Funky and Inferno climb their turnbuckles, and raise their arms, the crowd giving another loud cheer. Glenn Rachael and Laura saunters down to ringside, taking his place in FDF's corner.)

They got a file on me and it's a mile long

And they say that they got all of the proof

That I'm just another case of arrested development

And just another wasted youth

(Funky and Inferno climb down from the turnbuckles, before walking to centre ring, where they give each other a knuckle clash, the crowd giving a huge "cheer")

They say that I'm in need of some radical discipline

They say I gotta face the truth

That I'm just another case of arrested development

And just another wasted youth

(The two walk back to their corner, where they lean over the ropes, and have a discussion with Glenn.)

They say I'm wild and I'm reckless, I should be acting my age

I'm an impressionable child in a tumultuous world

And they say I'm at a difficult stage

But it seems to me to the contrary

Of all the crap they're going to put on the page

That a wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

A wasted youth is better by far than a wise and productive old age

If you want my views of history then there's something you should know

The three men I admire most are Curly, Larry and Mo!

If you don't worry 'bout the future, sooner or later it's the past

And if they say the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back

If the thrill is gone, then it's time to take it back

So sign up all you raw recruits, throw away all those two-bit suits

You got your weapons cocked, your targets in your sights

There's a party raging somewhere in the world

You gotta serve your country, gotta service your girl

You're all inducted in the armies of the night

And I ain't in it for the power, and I ain't in it for the health

I ain't in it for the glory of anything at all

And I sure ain't in it for the wealth

But I'm in it till it's over and I just can't stop

If you wanna get it done, you gotta fight for yourself

And I like my music like I like my life

Everything louder than everything else (repeats out)

(As the music fades, Funky nods, and steps through the ropes, and Inferno turns around to start the match.)

Jimmy Peckman: Our SWF representatives are in high spirits as always, and you can't help rooting for them just on their sheer positive energy alone.

Larry Dots: They make me sick to my stomach, Jimmy. But not as much as the team they're going up against, so by process of elimination I guess I'm going to have to root for FDF too.

Jimmy Peckman: That's the spirit, Larry.

[Cut back to the ring, where the intros proceed...]

Zorana Blair: And their opponents...

<p>[The lights in the Pontiac Silverdome fade into blackness, as green spotlights dance about the crowd, followed shortly by a barrage of green strobe lights. "Learn to Fly" by The Foo Fighters blasts over the loudspeakers, as the two Canadian Youths of 'The Forces of Nature' head out onto the entranceway.]</p>

<p><i>Run and tell all of the angels<br>

This could take all night<br>

Think I need a devil to help me get things right<br>

Hook me up a new revolution<br>

Cause this one is a lie<br>

We sat around laughing and watched the last one die</i></p>

<p>[Jonesy stops in awe at the sight before him, barely able to contain his excitement... as Hyatt elbows him in the ribs - motioning for him to head down the walkway. Under each arm, the two carry a rather thick amount of cardboard, for no apparent reason.]</p>

<p>Zorana Blair: At a combined weight of 406 pounds... From British Columbia... They are the reigning WWA Tag Team Champions of the WORLD... Ashley Hyatt! Jonesy Frost! THE FORCES OF NATURE!!</p>

<p><i>I'm looking to the sky to save me<br>

Looking for a sign of life<br>

Looking for something to help me burn out bright</i></p>

<p>[The two boys dart off around either side of the ring, handing a piece of cardboard to anyone in the front row who will accept it. A wave of confusion works it's way through the front row, as questioning faces look at the cardboard handed to them... beforey Hyatt and Frost slide into the ring, and mount opposite turnbuckles.]</p>

<p><i>I'm looking for complication<br>

Looking cause I'm tired of trying<br>

Make my way back home when I learn to fly</i></p>

<p>[The two raise their arms valiently, before a frustrated look crosses their face. Frost points to a few people in the front row, motioning for them to hold their cardboard up... ]</p>

<p><i>I think I'm done nursing the patience<br>

I can wait one night<br>

I'd give it all away if you give me one last try<br>

We'll live happily ever trapped if you just save my life<br>

Run and tell the angels that everything is alright...<br>

Fly along with me, I can't quite make it alone<br>

Try and make this life my own</i></p>

<p>[Jonesy and Ashley continue to urge the fans to raise their signs into the air, recieving dumbfounded looks of confusion, in return. Eventually, they're able to coax a bit of cooperation from the front row, and the two smile at one another as their signs fly.]</p>

<p><center><i>"FDF = Assjerks!"<br>

"Licorice owns!"<br>

"FoN = WWA World Tag Team Champions!"<br>

"Frost-bitten!"<br>

"BC, Represent!"<br>

"You can run, but you can't Hyatt!"</i></center></p>

[The referee heads over to their corner, patting down each of the boys. As usual, he finds some strange objects - An action figure, on Jonesy... from the movie 'The Mummy', as well as a glass pyramid, which would be most functional as a paperweight. Shaking his head, the referee confiscates the items, before moving on to Ashley. There, he finds a small golden scarab... and a jar filled with sand. Apparently, they haven't quite emptied their pockets from their trip to Cairo.]

Jimmy Peckman: You mean those guys have been carrying around Egyptian souvenirs even after returning to the States?

Larry Dots: Hey, it's better than whatever garbage they sell at customs here in Michigan.

Jimmy Peckman: Good point.

[The bemused referee dumps the collected items into the arms of a ring attendant, then turns back to the wrestlers and takes possession of the World Tag Team Title belts. He shows them to the FoN boys, then to the members of Firery Disco Fever, and then holds the two belts up in the air for the roaring crowd to see.]

Jimmy Peckman: When this match is over, it could be Funky and Inferno Kid wearing those belts, Larry.

Larry Dots: Stranger things have happened. But these FoN kids are in a dead heat with FDF in the "positive energy" department, so it's anybody's guess at this point.

[Finally passing the title belts out to ringside, the referee calls for the opening bell.]

[Ding, ding, ding!]

Jimmy Peckman: Well, we already know that Inferno is starting off for FDF... but Hyatt and Frost can't seem to decide which of them is going to begin for their team.

Larry Dots: What the hell are they doing...?

[After a short argument, Ashley and Jonesy clasp each other's hand, their respective thumbs sticking straight up. Then they start mashing at each other's thumb with their own.]

Jimmy Peckman: Looks like they've declared a thumb war.

Larry Dots: ...I think that may be the first time that sentence has ever been spoken in the Sadistic Wrestling Federation.

[A vicious back-and-forth affair later, Jonesy manages to pin Ashley's thumb. Jonesy whoops out loud and pumps his fist in the air, loudly gloating in the face of his fuming tag partner. Then he quickly slips out to the apron, leaving Ashley to start the match.]

Jimmy Peckman: A hard-fought victory by Jonesy here, and it's Ashley Hyatt who's now stepping up to meet Inferno in the middle of the ring.

Larry Dots: Hard-fought victory... yeesh.

[Inferno and Hyatt dance around each other briefly, each swatting hands at the other in a feeling-out process, both staying just out of range. Then Hyatt charges, Inferno sidestepping. Hyatt runs into the ropes and returns at speed with a clothesline -- which Inferno counters with a rapid armdrag takedown. Hyatt is up instantly -- and Inferno throws him down with another armdrag. Ashley gets up once again, only to be armdragged a *third* time -- but this time he twists in mid-air, grabbing Inferno by the head, and counters with a DDT.]

Jimmy Peckman: Ooh, nice counter by Hyatt.

Larry Dots: Nice to see he can do something other than be tossed around by Inferno Kid.

[Inferno and Hyatt get back to their feet quickly enough, the former a little disoriented after being spiked into the mat, the latter a bit dizzy from being repeatedly thrown head over heels. Hyatt recovers first, and dashes at Inferno, grabbing him by the wrist and flinging him into the ropes. Inferno on the return, he puts a hand on Ashley's shoulder, using it as leverage to swing his legs up and--]

Jimmy Peckman: Oh! Spinning headscissors by Inferno! Hyatt thrown across the ring like a rag doll!

Larry Dots: And Funky's on the top rope!

[Before Hyatt can so much as sit up, the other half of Firery Disco Fever vaults off the top rope:]

Jimmy Peckman: Swanton bomb! Connecting across the chest of Ashley Hyatt! Nice teamwork by FDF!

Larry Dots: Heh, I don't think Hyatt even saw that coming!

[Inferno and Funky raise up Ashley Hyatt and shoot him to the ropes. They catch him on the return with a double elbow to the face, flattening the FoN member on his back. Then Funky and Inferno dash in opposite directions, each jumping up onto the second rope in preparation to springboard backward...]

Larry Dots: Double lionsault coming up!

Jimmy Peckman: No! Jonesy Frost came running out of his corner and slammed into Funky while he was on the ropes, knocking him out to the floor!

[Funky goes tumbling over the top rope, landing awkwardly at ringside.]

Jimmy Peckman: But Inferno DID hit the lionsault, and there's the cover:

1...

Jimmy Peckman: No such luck, as Frost was right there to break it up with an elbowdrop across the back of Inferno's head.

[Frost grabs Inferno by the hair and raises him upright, before scooping him up and dropping him with a bodyslam. Hyatt is up by this point, and Frost directs him to run into the ropes. Ashley does, and on the return Jonesy uses his tag partner's momentum to lift him up in the air in an overhead press... and then let him fall flush across the chest of Inferno Kid.]

Jimmy Peckman: Nice tandem offense by FoN as well, and Frost returning to his corner while Hyatt makes the cover:

1...

2--

Larry Dots: Nope, the kid kicked out.

Jimmy Peckman: Hyatt already back on his feet as Inferno starts to get up... Ashley running into the ropes, on the return as Inferno stands up -- NAILS him with a running leg lariat to put him down again. And Ashley now picking Inferno up again, starting to lead him toward the FoN corner--

Larry Dots: Doesn't look like Inferno wants any part of that!

[Indeed, Inferno Kid is lashing out with blows to the ribs of Hyatt, trying to break away. Hyatt retaliates with a punch -- which Inferno nimbly ducks, going behind and grabbing Ashley by the head, driving him backward into the canvas!]

Jimmy Peckman: 'Whiplash' by Inferno! Ashley Hyatt is down, and Inferno wisely going to his corner to make the tag to Funky.

[Funky slips through the ropes and gathers up Hyatt before the FoN member can recover. Bringing him to his feet, Funky rams forearms into Hyatt's face to keep him staggered. Then he starts to hook up Ashley's head -- but Ashley fights it with shots to the midsection. Funky instead grabs Hyatt's arm and whips him to the ropes, but it's reversed by Hyatt. Funky comes off the ropes and Ashley swings for a lariat -- DUCKED by Funky, who meets the opposite side of the ring with a leap onto the second rope, springboarding backward as Hyatt turns around--]

Jimmy Peckman: OH! Funky NAILS that moonsault DDT! Spectacular move! And there's the cover on Hyatt:

1...

2...

Jimmy Peckman: Only a two count before Jonesy Frost enters the ring and breaks it up. Jonesy hauling Funky upright, slams his forearm into his face once, twice... and a NICE standing dropkick by Frost!

Larry Dots: Funky tumbles backward over Ashley Hyatt, who was crouching right behind him! Hyatt cradles him for the pin...

1...

2--

Jimmy Peckman: No! Only a two on that, as Funky kicks out. And Hyatt is now prudently scrambling his way over to his corner on hands and knees, hoping to make the tag to his fresher partner--

[But before Hyatt can slap the outstretched hand of Frost, Funky throws himself into the corner and knocks Jonesy off the apron.]

Larry Dots: Oh! Funky taking pre-emptive action right there!

Jimmy Peckman: That he did, and now he picks up Ashley, hooks him by the head... up and OVER with a vertical suplex-- No! Hyatt flipping through the move and landing on his feet, facing the other way! Hyatt rebounds off the ropes as Funky turns around--

[~SMACK!~]

Jimmy Peckman: JEBUS! CONNECTS with a running savate kick!

Larry Dots: Just about took his funkin' head off!

Jimmy Peckman: Funky's been flattened, and now Ashley dives for the corner, where Jonesy has just climbed back onto the apron aaand-- MAKES the tag!

[Jonesy Frost shoots into the ring like a bullet and stomps on the head of Funky before he can get up. Then he stoops down and lifts Funky all the way up, goes behind with a rear waistlock -- and FOLDS him with a bridging German suplex! Not content to hold the bridge, Jonesy rolls through the move, still holding onto the waist as he lifts Funky upright -- then he quickly changes his grip, hooking the arms in a double chickenwing.]

Jimmy Peckman: Whoa, Roar of the Tiger coming up already!

Larry Dots: Not *just* yet, Jimmy! Funky saw it coming and fought out of it!

[Indeed, Funky struggles and breaks free of the attempted tiger suplex, following up with a quick kick to the side of Jonesy Frosy. He nails another kick to the other side, and then a jumping spin kick to the cheek, knocking Frost down. As Frost tries to climb to his feet, shaking his head to clear his rattled mind, Funky charges the ropes and rebounds -- and then Jonesy LEAPS off the canvas, catching the running Funky with a SNAPPING hurricanrana!]

Jimmy Peckman: WHAT a move by Jonesy Frost! Funky never saw it coming!

Larry Dots: Frost now signalling Hyatt to get in the ring...

[As Hyatt steps through the ropes, Frost drags Funky by the leg into a neutral corner. There, he picks up the FDF member, turns him upside down, and hangs him from the top turnbuckle in the Tree of Woe. Then Frost quickly dashes to the diagonally opposite corner, while Hyatt takes up position in the FoN corner. And they're both off! Jonesy and Ashley charge toward the helpless Funky -- but stop short and give him stereo kicks to the gut, keeping him stunned. FoN do simultaneous standing backflips -- and then they both lunge at Funky again!]

Jimmy Peckman: DAMN! SPEAR by Frost! LOW DROPKICK TO THE FACE by Hyatt! Funky had nowhere to go and he took ALL of that!

Larry Dots: You can't help being impressed by those idiots. The FoN idiots, I mean; not our idiots.

Jimmy Peckman: Hyatt returning to his corner as Frost pulls Funky down from the turnbuckle... he rolls him on his back and makes the cover!

1...

2...

Jimmy Peckman: Inferno makes the save with a low dropkick to the face of Jonesy Frost! Frost staggering to his feet as Inferno backs off a step, making come-on gestures... Jonesy with a look of irritation, rushes Inferno Kid-- OH! Inferno catches him! PLANTS Frost with a side chokeslam!

Larry Dots: Hell of a move there, and it could help shift things back in FDF's favor--

Jimmy Peckman: Whoa! Hyatt EXPLODING out of his corner and running right at Inferno! Spinning heel kick CONNECTS right to the jaw of the Inferno Kid, and he goes stumbling back into the ropes! Ashley with a head of steam -- CLOTHESLINES Inferno over the top rope, his own momentum carrying HIM over, too!

[Meanwhile, Funky is beginning to pick himself up off the canvas... and he spots Frost laid out. Instantly he throws himself over Frost for the cover.]

Jimmy Peckman: Funky going for the pin!

1...

2--

Jimmy Peckman: Shoulder up by Jonesy. Funky up on his feet -- DROPS a leg across the chest of Frost. Jonesy trying to get up after that, as Funky charges into the ropes, runs up behind him -- SCORES with a flipping neck snap, smacking Jonesy's face into the canvas again! Funky quickly picks him up, shoots him to the ropes -- SPINEBUSTER!

Larry Dots: NO! Jonesy slipped over Funky's shoulder, landing on his feet!

Jimmy Peckman: Funky whirls around, charging at Jonesy -- who lowers a shoulder and HURLS Funky over the top rope with a back body drop!

[Funky hits the pads at ringside with a painful SMACK. Meanwhile, at another part of the ringside area, Inferno and Ashley haven't stopped attacking each other. Hyatt has backed Inferno against the guardrail with unrelenting kicks; now taking a step back, Ashley darts forward and goes for a crescent kick to the face -- but Inferno ducks out of the way!]

Larry Dots: OUCH!

Jimmy Peckman: OUCH, is right, as Ashley Hyatt has just inadvertantly crotched himself on the guardrail!

Larry Dots: I don't think there's gonna be any little Hyatts running around any time soon... for which we should all be very, very grateful!

[Needless to say, the look on Ashley's face is downright excruciating. Taking advantage, Inferno hooks Hyatt's head in a front facelock, grabs him by the waistband, and suplexes him off the guardrail DOWN to the hard ringside floor.]

Jimmy Peckman: That's gonna leave a mark -- either on Hyatt, or on the floor.

[At the same time, Funky, having recovered from his fall, is trying to get back in the ring, but Jonesy grabs the top rope with both hands and plows both feet into the FDF member, sending him back down to the floor. Jonesy, still grasping the top rope, pulls back as if to slingshot himself to the outside -- but he happens to glance over to where Inferno is picking Hyatt off the floor.]

Larry Dots: Jonesy Frost controlling the ring for the moment, but Inferno is ALL over Ashley Hyatt here at ringside.

Jimmy Peckman: Indeed he is, and it looks like he's setting up Hyatt for a whip -- throws him directly into the ringsteps! NO! Hyatt jumps ONTO the steps... and springs back with a spin! OH! NAILS Inferno with an enzuigiri to the back of Inferno's head!

Larry Dots: Kid's still got some fight in him, despite the smashing of his family jewels!

[Inferno spins around, staggered, and has to lean his elbows on the ring apron to stay upright. At that moment Jonesy Frost goes into action: running toward that side of the ring and diving feet-first through the ropes, catching Inferno about the head with his ankles -- and WHIPPING him across the ringside area with a swinging hurricanrana!]

Jimmy Peckman: AWESOME move by Jonesy Frost!

Larry Dots: Ashley Hyatt is giving his partner props for that--

Jimmy Peckman: WHOA! Look out for Funky!

[The other member of FDF has dashed around the side of the ring, vaulted up onto the ringsteps -- and LAUNCHED himself off with a shooting star press, crashing on top of both members of Forces of Nature!]

Jimmy Peckman: Funky WIPING OUT Jonesy and Ashley with that SUICIDAL move!

Larry Dots: The guy's a certifiable maniac!

Jimmy Peckman: All four of these guys may well be! Funky now grabbing Frost by the head, hauling him up to his feet, and rolling him back in the ring... Funky slides in as well, and hooks the leg for the pin!

1...

2...

Jimmy Peckman: No! Jonesy kicks out before the three, but only just. Funky isn't giving him time to recover, though: he picks Frost up, sets him up in a standing headscissors, the lift aaand-- DRILLS him with a SHUDDERING tigerbomb! Jonesy Frost is laid out, and Funky's now pointing to the corner... looks like he's feeling froggy!

Larry Dots: He might as well, this is the perfect time for it!

[Funky quickly ascends to the top rope, pausing as he measures the distance between himself and Frost. Then he leaps with a somersault legdrop!]

Jimmy Peckman: HOUSTON HANGOVER!

Larry Dots: NO! Ashley Hyatt reached into the ring and dragged Frost out of the way! Funky got NOTHIN' BUT CANVAS!

Jimmy Peckman: Funky down on the mat, painfully nursing his back and hindquarters... meanwhile, Ashley Hyatt rushes over to return to his corner, desperately reaching over the top rope and shouting at his partner to make the tag. Inferno is back in his corner, too, and he's also calling for the tag. Both men in the ring crawling toward their respective partners... who's going to make the tag first?

Larry Dots: Funky's closer! He reaches up -- tags in Inferno!

Jimmy Peckman: Inferno rushing toward Frost -- but Frost with a last burst of effort, lunges for his corner and tags Hyatt!

[Hyatt bolts into the ring and meets Inferno halfway, both men exchanging blows in the middle of the ring. Inferno wins the exchange with a back elbow to Hyatt's jaw, and whips him into the ropes. Hyatt on the rebound, surprising Inferno with a spinning heel kick -- but Inferno ducks it at the last moment, and Ashley flies right over, hitting the canvas. Inferno is right on him as soon as he gets up, scooping Hyatt into his arms -- and then swinging him out and PLASTERING him into the mat with a slam!]

Jimmy Peckman: FIRE HALL SLAM! This could be it! Inferno with the cover--

1...

2...

3--

Jimmy Peckman: NO! Hyatt JUST escaping the three-count. Close one! But Inferno not about to let up now: he picks up the groggy Hyatt by the hair and leads him to the FDF corner, where he tags off to Funky. Funky getting in the ring now and setting up Hyatt in a rear waistlock -- OH! WHIPS him back with a release German suplex! Good GRIEF, that's gotta hurt! But Inferno is right in position, grabbing Hyatt's legs as he lands and hauling him up in wheelbarrow position -- SWINGS him up and DROPS him throat-first across the top rope! Then he swings him back toward the inside of the ring and PLANTS him with a reverse powerbomb!

Larry Dots: Inferno and Funky are OBLITERATING Ashley Hyatt with their patented Fire Dance tandem move, and Funky's on the top rope, ready to finish it with a frog splash!

Jimmy Peckman: NO! Jonesy Frost running across the ring! He leaps up to the top rope -- SMACKS Funky with a kick to the head! Funky loses his balance -- CROTCHES himself up there! And Frost jumps back down to the ring, where Inferno Kid is already half on his feet... He catches Frost! SPLATTERS him with a spinebuster!

Larry Dots: NASTY impact right there!

Jimmy Peckman: Inferno taking a second to catch his breath... but Ashley Hyatt is slowly getting to his feet, shaking off the cobwebs...

[Hyatt spots Inferno, and takes off into the ropes. Inferno turns around just as Hyatt rebounds -- Hyatt swinging his legs up, catches Inferno about the head with a headscissors, and uses his momentum to swing around in a circle, with the helpless Inferno acting as a pivot.]

Jimmy Peckman: Ashley practically ORBITING Inferno's head like a satellite! Hyatt with a quick shift of position... DROPS Inferno with an Ace Crusher!

Larry Dots: That was AMAZING!

[The torque and momentum of the move causes Inferno to roll out of the ring. Shaking his head and swaying a little from the lingering dizziness of his last move, Ashley Hyatt helps Jonesy Frost up... and both turn to look at Funky, who is very gingerly trying to extricate himself from his painful situation. Immediately, both members of FoN scale the ropes, hook Funky up in a double front facelock, and grab two handfuls of the man's waistband.]

Jimmy Peckman: HERE WE GO! DOUBLE SUPERPLEX!

[~WHAM!~]

Jimmy Peckman: HUGE IMPACT! That's GOT to be it for Funky!

[Jonesy and Ashley get up, bringing the demolished Funky to his feet. Frost goes behind with a rear waistlock, heaving him UP for a German suplex -- but in mid-execution, Hyatt leaps up with a reverse hurricanrana, SPIKING Funky on the top of his head!]

Jimmy Peckman: WIND AND FIRE! DEVASTATING!

Larry Dots: Jonesy quickly going to the side of the ring to block Inferno from getting back in, while Ashley turns Funky over for the cover!

1...

2...

3!!!

[Ding, ding, ding!]

Jimmy Peckman: And that's the end of that!

[The referee retrieves the WWA World Tag Team Titles from ringside and presents them to Ashley Hyatt and Jonesy Frost. The Forces of Nature duo hold the belts aloft, looking duly proud of themselves.]

Zorana Blair: Your winners... and STILL WWA World Tag Team Champions... THE FORCES OF NATURE!

Jimmy Peckman: That they are, Larry, and it was a convincing victory for those boys.

Larry Dots: Indeed it was. Firery Disco Inferno did put up a fight, but alas, the champs retain tonight.

Jimmy Peckman: ...and now it's time for a clash between two of the World Wrestling Alliance's top cruiserweights!

Larry Dots: It's time for our very own Kakuma to defeat that goody-goody, Wendy Briese.

Jimmy Peckman: She's an incredibly talented young woman, Larry. I'd be willing to bet she could pin you to the mat...

Larry Dots: Right, I'd like to see that...

Announcer: Introducing first, from Shanghai, China... weighing in at two hundred and four pounds... KAKUMA!!!

[The lights to the arena slowly dim and soon the crowd is wrapped in a soft blanket of darkness. A gentle wind becomes audible through the PA system. A dark blue beam breaks the darkness as it is cast directly in the center of the ring. As the odd melodic notes to the beginning of Metallica’s “Call of the Ktulu” the beam slowly moves through the ring and up the entrance ramp. It finally stops in the center of curtain. As the song builds and picks up its tempo the beam spreads into a light blue spotlight across the curtain. Kakuma slowly slips out and begins to move down the ramp with slow, graceful strides. The spot light remains on him the entire time. He makes his way to the ring and slowly makes his way up the steps to a booing crowd]

Announcer: ...and his opponent, from Manhattan, New York... weighing in at one hundred and thirty pounds... your World Wrestling Alliance CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION... WENDY BRIESE!!!

#EL-UH-VAY-SHUN!#

BOOM!

#Whoooo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo-hoo!#

[The crowd leaps to their feet as the opening of U2's "Elevation, and a round of green pyro's go off on stage. In the midst of the fading sparks and smoke, Wendy Briese steps out onto the stage, holding her fist in the air and smiling to the crowd. Behind her, looking around, almost as if bored, is Dan Pollaski.]

#High- Higher than the sun#
#You shoot me from a gun#
#I need you to elevate me here#
#The corner of your lips#
#Is the orbit of your hips#

[Wendy, still smiling, makes her way off the stage, walking down the ramp, giving high fives to the fans. Dan keeps to the middle, threatening to backhand any fan who dares touch him.]

#Eclipse- You elevate my soul#
#I got no self control#
#Been living like a mole now#
#Going down excavation#
#Higher- Into the sky#
#You make me feel like I can fly#
#So high- Elevation!#

[Wendy quickly slides into the ring, raising her hands as she stands up, smiling at the appreciative crowd. Dan, meanwhile, makes his way around ringside, and stops at Wendy's corner]

#Whoooo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo!#
#Whoooo-hoo-hoo!#

[Wendy retreats to her corner, leaning over the top rope to finish talking things out with Pollaski, as her music fades.]

Jimmy Peckman: The words between these two this week, were absolutely brutal. Kakuma has quite a bit of resentment towards Wendy Briese, and he didn't hold back much.

Larry Dots: ...He let that 'too-good-for-her-own-good' prude have it!

[Ding, Ding, Ding!]

Jimmy Peckman: And we're off!

[Wendy and Kakuma circle one another, eyeing their opponent with caution, before the two lock up in the center of the ring with a collar and elbow tie up. Kakuma comes away with a hammerlock, which Wendy quickly reverses - only to be reversed by Kakuma again, into a judo-style takedown... holding on to the arm for a crucifix arm bar.]

Larry Dots: ...And Kakuma's getting things started off, in a hurry! He's not wasting any time!

Jimmy Peckman: Well, there is a bit of bad blood between these two... it's no secret, after their last meeting on Global.

[Wendy struggles towards the ropes, which proves to be quite a battle - considering the seventy-plus pounds she's outweighed. Eventually, she makes it there - pausing to consult with Pollaski, before locking up again, in the center of the ring.]

Jimmy Peckman: Briese came away with the victory, in a rather controversial matchup - but now Kakuma has been granted another chance to gain the title.

Larry Dots: He should have had it a long time ago...

[Kakuma breaks the tie up, sending a boot towards the gut of Wendy - who catches it... and takes him over with a Dragonscrew Legwhip... before locking on a leg scissors.]

Jimmy Peckman: This will be a helluva match, perhaps coming down to whoever can lock on the most painful submission. Both wrestlers are acclaimed for their diverse styles, it's a treat to the fans to see the two clash.

Larry Dots: Oh, quit kissing ass, Peckman.

[Kakuma forces his way to the ropes, lugging the hundred and thirty pound female which clings tightly to his leg along with him. She breaks the hold, and the two lock up again - as Kakuma rises. He comes away with a hammerlock, once again - not giving her any time to reverse, as he nails her with a hammerlocked Northern Light's Suplex. He backs up, as Briese shakes the cobwebs from her head - and he charges, as she starts to rise...]

[THWACK!]

Jimmy Peckman: SHINING WIZARD!

Larry Dots: The prude just got her face rearranged.

[With lightning speed, Kakuma mounts the turnbuckles and leaps...]

[CRUNCH!]

Larry Dots: FOUR-FIFTY KNEEDROP!

Jimmy Peckman: My God!

Larry Dots: ...if the Shining Wizard wasn't enough, that'll definetly do the job!

Jimmy Peckman: Kakuma hooks a leg!

[One...]

[Two...]

Larry Dots: Dammit! Kickout!

Jimmy Peckman: You've got to admire her resilience!

Larry Dots: Admire nothing! God, I don't understand how you can like her...

[Kakuma pulls Wendy up - landing an inverted DDT, and without breaking form, he raises her head onto his knee, locking on a rather painful variation of a Dragon Sleeper.]

Jimmy Peckman: Kakuma is definetly in control, and this Minnesota crowd is getting behind him! Like him or not, these fans want to bring the Cruiserweight Title to their home!

Larry Dots: Or maybe they just like seeing Briese get her ass kicked...

Jimmy Peckman: You are a vile, vile man...

[Wendy struggles, before kicking her legs over her head, and rolling backwards into a variation cradle pin.]

Jimmy Peckman: REVERSED, INTO A PINFALL ATTEMPT!

[One...]

[Two...]

[Three!!!]

Larry Dots: NO!

Jimmy Peckman: Kakuma kicked out, at the last second!

Larry Dots: She caught him by surprise with that one...

Jimmy Peckman: I think she caught us all by surprise.

[Both competitors rise quickly, and Wendy takes Kakuma down with a swift dropkick - followed by another - and attempts a third, but the wiley Kakuma dodges... locking on a Fujiwara Arm Bar.]

Larry Dots: He's going to make her tap out! Ha! Beat her, and disgrace her!

Jimmy Peckman: ...and you love every minute of it...

Larry Dots: Indeed, I do.

[Wendy slides herself towards the ropes, barely laying the top of her foot upon it - successfully breaking the hold. Kakuma gives one last wrench, as the referee hits "five" in his count, before letting go... and pulling her back to the center of the ring. He locks on a triangle hold, sending her scrambling for the ropes, yet again.]

Larry Dots: Ha! I love it!

Jimmy Peckman: ...Vile...

[Once again, she makes it - but not without tiring herself extremely. Kakuma takes the opportunity to mount the turnbuckles again, leaping off for a shooting star press...]

Jimmy Peckman: She rolled out of the way!

Larry Dots: He landed on his feet! What a sense of perception, to make such an adjustment in mid-air!

Jimmy Peckman: Who's kissing ass now, Larry?

[Wendy sweeps Kakuma's feet out from under him, taking the moment she earned to rise to her feet - as he does the same. She catches him with a hurricanrana, before locking on an octopus hold.]

Larry Dots: What kind of goody-good hold is that?

Jimmy Peckman: It's an octopus hold, Larry...

Larry Dots: Bah! Any self respecting wrestler would never do something as goofy as that!

Jimmy Peckman: Right. Never.

[Kakuma goes limp, and Wendy breaks the hold - but he was faking all along, and takes her down with a massive clothesline!]

Jimmy Peckman: ...That CHEA--

Larry Dots: --GENIUS!

[Kakuma whips Wendy Briese to the corner, chasing after, and landing a monkey flip... before bouncing off the ropes, somersaulting, front-flipping, and landing a massive leg guillotine - holding the position, for the pin.]

Larry Dots: Poetry in motion, I tell you...

[One...]

[Two...]

[Thre--Kickout!]

Jimmy Peckman: SHE KICKS OUT!

Larry Dots: Dammit!

Jimmy Peckman: Larry, you act like you've got money riding on this match...

Larry Dots: I do - five bucks, with the hot dog vendor.

Jimmy Peckman: You never cease to amaze me...

Larry Dots: ...I do what I can...

[Kakuma pulls Wendy to her feet, whipping her to the corner once again - but is met, as he charges this time, with nothing but turnbuckle.]

Jimmy Peckman: SMALL PACKAGE!

[One...]

[Two...]

Larry Dots: Kickout! Phew!

Jimmy Peckman: Standing Moonsault - a thing of beauty!

Larry Dots: Ugh! Her form was all wrong...

Jimmy Peckman: You wouldn't know a good one if it hit you in the face...

Larry Dots: Well... You... Uh... You wouldn't either!

[Wendy pulls Kakuma up, before taking him back down with a snapmare bulldog - before locking on a crossface!]

[Kakuma makes it to the ropes, breaking the hold, and rises - only to be met with a swinging DDT... and an STF.]

Larry Dots: Move, submission. Move, Submission. She's so... bland!

Jimmy Peckman: It's the same thing that Kakuma was doing in the early going!

Larry Dots: Well, at least he did it with style...

[Kakuma starts to work his way towards the ropes again, but Wendy rolls onto her back - not releasing the hold...]

Jimmy Peckman: Ugh, that doesn't look like fun...

Larry Dots: It's cheating!

[One...]

[Two...]

[Wendy raises a shoulder off of the mat, preventing herself from accidentally scoring the win for Kakuma. Her face is a mask of crimson, as she strains with every last effort she can muster... before growing a bit tired, and releasing the hold.]

Jimmy Peckman: I thought she had it there, for sure!

Larry Dots: Nah, wait 'till you see what nefarious plan Kakuma has concocted!

[Wendy platns Kakuma with a DDT and then she motions to the crowd for her finisher; Emerald cyclone. She jumps onto the top rope and remains perched there for a moment, waiting for Kakuma to get to his feet. Kakuma does, but his back is to her. He begins to stagger around, but is still too out of it to notice anything. The crowd begins to warn not to turn around... Their cheers of concern grow louder and louder, as he staggers in a circle, quite dazed and confused. She comes off the top rope leg’s spread for a hurricarrana. Kakuma however steps towards her with a side kick...]

[THUD!]

Jimmy Peckman: OUCH!

Larry Dots: Yeah!

Jimmy Peckman: They're both laid out!

Larry Dots: I told you! Kakuma had that all planned out!

Jimmy Peckman: It's been a helluva battle thus far, who is going to get up first - and make the possible final pin?!

Larry Dots: It'll be Kakuma, I guarantee it...

Jimmy Peckman: You don't have to be a psychic to guess that one...

Larry Dots: Hey Jimmy, wanna hear a joke?

Jimmy Peckman: I have a feeling that I don't...

Larry Dots: Women's rights.

Jimmy Peckman: I hope that Wendy Briese gets her hands on you, one day.

Larry Dots: Me too, to be honest...

Jimmy Peckman: You're every bit as bad as Kakuma...

Larry Dots: I'll mark that as a compliment.

[One...]

Jimmy Peckman: WENDY BRIESE THROWS AN ARM OVER KAKUMA!

[Two...]

Larry Dots: NO!!!

[Three!!!]

Jimmy Peckman: IT'S OVER!

Larry Dots: NO! KAKUMA GOT A FOOT ON THE ROPES!

Jimmy Peckman: SWEET JESUS!

Larry Dots: The show must go on!

Jimmy Peckman: You've got to admire the grit and determination of these two competitors... it doesn't get any better than Alliance-wide action, here in the World Wrestling Alliance...

Larry Dots: Do you get a commission for that, or something?

[Briese works herself around towards Kakuma's legs, raising onto her own knees, and locking on an ankle lock.]

Jimmy Peckman: Smart wrestling by Briese, she's putting pain on Kakuma - while not expending too much of her own energy.

Larry Dots: It's cheating. Look in the rulebook.

[Kakuma struggles, attempting to find his way to the ropes... but Wendy drags him backwards, putting extra pressure on the ankle.]

Jimmy Peckman: What pride! Kakuma won't tap out, though he's in immense pain!

Larry Dots: She'll give up, before he does!

[Wendy breaks the hold, before locking on another one - in the center of the ring...]

Jimmy Peckman: BANSHEE!!!

Larry Dots: That stupid Deathlock STF... I've seen cooler moves from Dragon Jones...

Jimmy Peckman: ...I dunno... it's kinda cool looking...

Larry Dots: You hate it, admit it.

[Kakuma attempts to shift towards the ropes, with little success...]

Jimmy Peckman: The constant barrage of submission after submission seems to be getting to Kakuma! Can he make it to the ropes?!

[He makes another lunge...]

Larry Dots: Of course he can!

[Kakuma goes limp...]

Larry Dots: This doesn't look good...

[The referee heads over, to check on Kakuma. He lifts an arm...]

One...

Larry Dots: Oh God, I'm going to lose five dollars...

Jimmy Peckman: You ass.

Two...

Jimmy Peckman: Once again, you have to admire the effort of both of these competitors - it takes nearly superhuman strength to last this amount of time in a move like that - not to mention the other horrendous locks these two have been through tonight.

Larry Dots: Are you done yapping, yet?

THREE!!!

Jimmy Peckman: BRIESE RETAINS!

Larry Dots: Dammit...

Jimmy Peckman: Looks like you've got a date with the hot dog vendor, Larry.

Larry Dots: Eat me, Jimmy.

Jimmy Peckman: I'm sure this isn't going to be the last we see of these two colliding... but what a bout it's been!

A slow melodic guitar riff begins to play over the loud speakers]

### It seems so hard... ###

### To stay so positive... ###

### I know how it feels... ###

[A single red spot light fires up on the entrance way as the music picks up slightly.]

### It just takes time... ###

### Somethings got to give... ###

### Don't let the negative... ###

### steal the blue out of the sky... ###

[Music picks up more as Dan Easton in a black and white singlet, black wrestling boots, and a single blank

elbow pad on his left elbow.]

### Don't leave it all behind... ###

[Dan begins to make his way to the ring.]

### This is Life, this is it... ###

### It's not everything you want... ###

### It's everything you can't believe in... ###

### It's not worth leaving... ###

### Yeah this is life, once again... ###

### It's been knocking at your door... ###

### You ought to let it in.. ###

### It's not worth wasting, it's time you faced it... ###

[Dan makes it to the ring and slide in under the bottom rope and rises to his feet. As the music dies down Dan prepares to do battle.]

[The arena slowly fades to darkness... as 'The Blood Brother's' "Every Breath is a Bomb" blasts over the loudspeakers. The angry blast of guitar and drums is drowned out only by the incessant screams of a rather unhappy singer...]
 

[He slides into the ring, under the bottom rope... leaping, with incredible agility for a large man, onto the second turnbuckle, and raising his World Wrestling Alliance National Title high into the air... as the crowd emits a massive roar...]

<center><b>[He's ready...]</b></center>

<i>every hole has a snake in it...
Every crotch is a siamese gun,
every ray of sunshine hides a cancerous chime,
<b> every breath is a bomb.</b>"</i>

[Hopping down, he stretches in the corner, as he awaits the opening bell...]

[Ding, ding, ding!]

[The National Champion and the number one contender begin to circle each other, ready for the feeling out process. Cross extends his hand high into the air, and Easton takes it, forming half of a Greco-Roman knucklelock. Quickly, Easton sneaks an arm under Cross' leg and trips him down with a short powerbomb. Easton smirks as Cross rolls back to his feet.]

Peckman: "And Easton makes the first move, trying to assert his dominance over the slightly smaller Cross."

[ They circle again, and, this time, Cross grabs a standing switch and ducks two elbows from Easton, before sliding his arms down to Easton's legs, tripping him up face first onto the canvas. He drops a quick elbow to Easton's back and kips up to his feet, a smirk on his face now. Easton smoothly gets back up to his feet, rolling his shoulders and glaring at Cross.]

Dots: "Cross ain't without his share of moves, though. An eye for an eye."

[Easton quickly charges Cross with a spear, but Cross wraps his arms around Easton's head and leans forward, stopping Easton from moving any farther.]

Dots: "It's the unstoppable force meets the immovable object!"

Peckman: "These two do not want to give each other even an inch!"

[The two sway back and forth, battling for supremacy. Cross slowly raises him arms up to give Easton a Double Axe Handle, when Easton continues with his stampede and runs Cross hard into the turnbuckles. He then follows up with a flurry of forearms to the head of the National champ, rocking him into a slump in the corner.]

Peckman: "And Easton take Cross down hard with a flurry of offense in the early going. The champ seems flustered!"

[Cross pulls himself to his feet via the ropes. Easton, spotting him, charges in with a boot. Jono moves out of the way, however, and Easton sails past him, almost croched on the top turnbuckle. Cross back up for a moment, measuring Easton, and nails him with a picture-perfect dropkick to the head.]

Dots: "One thing about Cross is his resiliency. It takes alot more than a small flurry to keep him out of his champion mentality."

[Thinking quickly, Cross attempts to lock the falling Easton into a Dragon Sleeper. However, the second that the hold is locked on, Easton swings out of it, reversing their positions, and hits a beautiful knee lift to the back of the head of Cross. He sits up on top of the turnbuckles and smirks once again.]

Peckman: "The arrogant Easton showing his resourcefulnes once again with that unique knee lift."

[Easton quickly steps off the turnbuckles as Cross gets to his feet, stunning him with a kick to the ribs, followed by an Irish whip. Easton ducks on Cross' return, hoping to catch the champ in a back body drop. Cross, however, spots it and stops short, rocking the challenger with a huge European uppercut. As Easton stumbles around the ring, trying to recover, Cross launches another dropkick to the face of Easton. He goes for the cover immediately after.]

Peckman: "Both men pretty even here, as we have the first cover of the match-up."

1!

2 -- No

Dots: "Easton kicks out easily."

[Cross quickly lifts Easton to his feet, and kicks him in the ribs. He backs up a few steps, into the ropes, and charges at Easton. We never find out what his intentions are, however, as Easton, regaining his wits, rears back as takes Cross down with a MASSIVE lariat, dropping Cross right on his head. Easton swoops in for the cover.]

1!

2!

3...NO!

Peckman: "My God, what a lariat! Easton almost became the new National champ with that counter right there!"

Dots: "Look at Cross! He can't believe how close he came to being pinned!"

Peckman: "Took the champ completely by surprise!"

[Smiling, knowing his has the upper hand now, Easton picks Cross up, and chucks him into the ropes, easily take him over with a big powerslam on the way back. He places a hand on the chest of Cross.]

1!

2!

Nope!

Peckman: "Cross beginning to gain his wits now, as Easton hits a beautiful powerslam. Dan will have to stay on the champ close if he hopes for a victory here."

[Easton pulls Cross in and wraps his arms around the waist of the National champ. He lifts Cross up high in the air, holding him up for ten...twelve...maybe fifteen seconds, before dropping him down in a sitout gutwrench suplex. Easton leans over Cross.]

1!

2!

No!

[Easton, incensed, winds up the arm of Cross and reels him in, rocking him with another lariat. He picks Cross up and repeats this two more times before lifting Cross straight into the air via his rigid arm and slamming him down in a powerbomb variation.]

Peckman: "Interesting move by Easton, there, as he held onto the arm of Cross during the entire series."

Dots: "Proving that Easton could kick Cross' ass with only one arm!"

Peckman: "Well, I don't know -- we have another cover!"

1!

2!

Kick out!

Peckman: "The champ manages to kick out, though he's been on the defensive for a majority of this match."

[Easton goes back to the arm, lifting Jono up once again, swinging around in a full circle with him then slamming him into the turnbuckle, immediately following up with a big boot that almost takes Cross' face right off. He pulls Cross in once again, and hooks him up for a beautiful suplex, stalling for a few seconds before sitting out with a stunning hangman's neckbreaker.]

Peckman: "What a maneuver!"

1!

2!

Kick out!

Dots: "Cross gets the shoulder up again, but, at this rate, he won't be kicking out for much longer!"

[Easton, a little frustrated, quickly and violently pulls Cross to his feet once again. Quickly, he applies a standing leg scissors and attempts a powerbomb. Cross quickly trips the larger Easton up and rolls on top for a quick cover.]

Peckman: "Counter by Cross!"

1!

2!

Nope!

Dots: "Easton easily kicks out...and then some!"

[At this point, Easton had clasped his hands around the waist of Cross and began to roll back into the standing leg scissors that he had on originally, eyes wide and nodding in appreciation of his own cleverness. He attempts to heave Cross into the air again, but doesn't get anywhere. Cross attempts to turn the table with a back body drop, but Easton refuses. Easton finally picks up Cross for a powerbomb, holding him high in the air. Lightning quick, Cross manages to swivel around into a Dragon Sleeper on Easton, clutching him with a tight body scissors. They fall with a CRASH to the canvas as Cross cinches up on the hold.]

Dots: "Holy crap!"

Peckman: "What a counter into the Dragon Sleeper by the National champion! He's looking to take Easton down a peg and, at the same time, take a breather."

[Easton begins to fade as Cross tightens in the hold. The referee lifts Easton's arm up. He lets it drop, but Easton doesn't. He reaches back for the hair or head of Cross -- anything he can grab hold of -- but Jono leans back a little more, stretching the hell out of Easton's ribs and making him pull his hand in again.]

Peckman: "Easton went for a counter, but Cross simply refused to be deterred at this point."

[After a minute or so more of this relentless hold, the ref checks Easton's hand once again.]

1...

2...

Hand up!

Dots: "Dan will not be denied tonight!"

[Easton releases the body scissors the Cross has applied with his arms, and staggers to one knee. Quickly switching to a new plan, Cross springs off of the ropes and collides into Easton with a sliding clothesline, knocking him down again. Cross leans into the nearest turnbuckle, considering his next move. The fans clap in appreciation.]

Peckman: "What a comeback by Cross! This crowd appreciates the never-say-die attitude of the National champ!"

Dots: "Don't count out Easton yet, though, he's not taking this lying down!"

[Indeed, he was not. Easton slowly rose to his feet and looked at Cross with a renewed intensity. Cross returned the look. They both go for a kick to the gut, but they both catch the other one's foot. They spin each other around, in opposite ways, until they face each other again, then they go to blows.]

Peckman: "Both men exploding now, with a flurry of punches to each other's faces."

Dots: "They've had it with the technical crap! It's fisticuffs!"

[Easton has Cross backed right up to the ropes with his punches, and then goes for a haymaker. Cross ducks and moves out of the way, going behind Easton. Cross goes for a lariat, but Easton instinctivley ducks. He rises up, catching Cross in a vicious back drop driver. The crowd gasps.]

Peckman: "OH MY GOD!"

Dots: "RIGHT ON HIS HEAD!"

[Easton rolls the prone Cross over and hooks a leg.]

1!

2!

3 -- NO!

Peckman: "The champ finds a way to get that shoulder up!"

[Cross is pulled to his feet, eyes fluttering. Easton quickly hooks him up into a Fireman's Carry, looking like he's going for a DVD.]

Peckman: "Easton looking to seal the deal with a Death Valley Driver!"

[On the way down, Cross, showing great agility for a man of his size, flips out and onto his feet. He quickly runs to the ropes and extends his foot for a big boot. Easton, quickly noticing, gives a sharp kick behind the the knee of Cross, sending the champ right over onto his stomach clutching his knee. Easton quickly swoops in and attempts to tangle Cross' legs in a Texas Cloverleaf.]

Peckman: "Low Down! Easton is looking to hook the Low Down on Cross!"

Dots: "Cross ain't havin' any of it, though!"

[Just before Easton can lock it in solid, Cross slips out his horizontal leg and boots Easton in the face with it a couple of times. Easton lets go of Cross' other leg and retreats to the ropes, as Cross struggles to his feet once again. He doesn't get a chance, however, as Dan runs in with a huge SMACKING soccer kick to the knee of Cross. He rolls onto his back, clutching his knee towards him.]

Peckman: "Easton again with a nasty shot to that knee of Cross."

[Easton once again goes for the Low Down, this time wrestling Cross into perfect submission, locking it on perfectly...just as the champion drapes his hand over the ropes.]

1!

2!

3!

4!

[Easton throws down the legs of Cross in frustration. He drags Jono to the middle of the ring and stands on top of his leg. He pauses for a moment, as Cross writhes in agony, before dropping a knee directly onto the side of the knee of Cross. Cross instinctively pulls his leg towards him once again, rolling around on the canvas.]

Dots: "Easton's just kickin' the crap outta the knee of the champ! He's gonna need a crutch to walk outta here!"

[Continuing his assault, Dan holds Cross' foot up, then quickly twists around, locking in a very tight legbar. He grabs his hands around Cross' ankle and begins to twists, for further leverage.]

Peckman: "Cross with nowhere to go, right in the center of the ring!"

[Easton slowly begins to make his move, standing up, keeping Cross' leg locked between his own. He flips Cross over and draws Jono's other leg over, locking on a Texas Cloverleaf!]

Dots: "Again! Easton's got him this time! Right in the middle of the freaking ring!"

[Just as Easton is kneeling to cinch in the hold, Cross lifts himself up with his hands, through the pain, and pushes himself onto his back, gasping. Incensed, Easton walks forward, turning him back over, kicking him in the back a few times. Again, Cross manages to push himself onto his back.]

Peckman: "What resilience by the National champion!"

[The two men, still in the same position, are backed up into the corner now, but Easton refuses to release the hold on Cross' legs. Cross' back is up against the turnbuckles. He begins to climb the ropes with hands, going level with Easton. He goes for a punch, but Easton tilts his head backwards, easily moving out of the way. Cross pulls Easton is for a second, before launching himself towards Easton, turning upside down in the process, his legs over Easton's head. Easton refuses to let go of the hold, now turning it into a hanging Cloverleaf.]

Dots: "What the hell was Cross thinking? Easton's just got him even harder now!"

[Easton's eyes are now wide with intensity, as he knows he has Cross locked down. Cross, however, hooks a cradle in between Easton's legs. He uses what little momentum he has to swing Easton to face the other way, and then pulls him down hard, NAILING a cradle piledriver as Easton goes upside down.]

Peckman: "EXTINCTION!! Cross just hit it out of that crazy submission!"

Dots: "How the hell!?"

Peckman: "Cross on top of Easton!"

1!

2!

3!

[Ding, ding, ding!]

Peckman: "Cross retains! What a battle!!"

[Fade to SWF logo]